Paper Boats Afloat

The specimen pictured above is the embodiment of my thought process for the past couple weeks.

Fall Break

Nana's and Papa's was the place to be.

Where I could sit on a couch for three hours straight doing absolutely nothing without being questioned.

Where I could eat dessert during breakfast, lunch and dinner without feeling guilty.

Where the whole perimeter of town itself is less than a half mile.

Chelsea treated me to one of the best concerts I've ever experienced.

Ben Rector.

And contrary to the picture below, he was not dancing with the Boone Co Stars.

This was Ben's Tour bus.

The door was wide open, so naturally, I have the urge to walk up to it and ask for Ben.

And I did.

Here's the conversation:

Me: "Hey! Is Ben in here? I have two roses for him."

Nameless Guy: "I'm not sure if he is."

Me: "You're not sure?...How do you not know? You're literally in the bus."

Nameless Guy: "I don't know."

Me: "Okay..."

Waiting in line with our thoughtful roses.

There's no zoom on this. 

I don't think we could have legally gotten any closer!

Opening Act // Cody Fry

Mister Ben Rector

Mister Bilbo Baggins or Frodo or legally referred to as Matt

All night I was dancing with this rose in hand flailing about.

Matt was positioned directly in front of me and all night he kept laughing at me for having a rose!

Toward the end of the show when he bent down to check the soundboard, I went, "PSST" and he looked up to see me pointing at the set list I knew was going to be mine.

Gracefully he handed it to me and gracefully I returned the favor, but with my rose!

Cody's face was priceless when Matt showed him the rose that wasn't his.

After the concert, Chelsea and I waited in line to meet Ben!

While waiting, I saw that Matt and Cody were picking up their instruments on stage.

So naturally, again, I had an urge and went with it.

From across the venue I yell:

"Matt! Cody! You should come take a picture with us!"

As the security gueard is moving us right along, I realize time is running out, so I try to sell it to them:

"I'm only here for another minute! This is a once in a lifetime chance to get a picture with me!"

Okay, genuine silliness works right...?

Yes. Yes it does.

 At least in this instance.

So down they came.

Matt is quite the chatterbox for a small guy (not meant to be offensive in the slightest)!

We laughed and had brief but silly conversation while waiting in line.

He clarified that he was laughing with me all night, but I don't buy that for a second.

He was laughing at me.

Hands down.

Ben Rector is a very humble gentleman with a genuine spirit.

He didn't treat us as numbers or fans, but as people, as individuals.

Enjoyed my fall break with hearts I love!

I apologize for my unannounced two-week vacation...that in reality wasn't a vacation.

I get overwhelmed often with the juggling of school, work, relationships, art and attempting to grow spiritually most importantly.

When anxiety seems to overcome all that I am, I am reminded that I am an overcomer because of the Spirit inside of me.

I am free to struggle, but am no longer struggling to be free.

Thankful for a Savior stronger than my chains and bigger than my nightmares.

Dream it Into Existence

Dreaming < Doing < Being

Dreaming big can lead to false realities or dreaming big can ignite a passion that leads to the fulfillment of that dream.

Unspoken prayers of conquering fears, overcoming anxiety and doing rather than just dreaming were visibly answered this week.

The Lizzie McGuire Movie

I have honestly watched this at least eight times this week...including right now as I write this.

Why?

Because it's a timeless story of overcoming fear, finding adventure and realizing that greatness is within you!

And! It's a chick flick with a classic love story. Score.

There's something about the simplicity of a denim top and gray leggings outfit that I cannot get enough of!

I feel confident in it (which should be explanation enough for any woman!), any shoes or jewelry will complement the outfit, good choice for just about all forecasts, and it serves as a lovely outfit that can get dirty with paint/ink and still work!

I spent Friday on my bed sketching for hours.

If anyone knows me, they would be amazed at the statement above.

That I somehow managed to stay in one spot for an extended amount of time without going completely insane. Emphasis on "completely".

An unspoken prayer of mine has been to be able to do rather than just imagine when it comes to art.

Something I've been struggling with lately is the idea myself severely lacking in talent when it comes to drawing and also art in general.

This lie lately has been pounded into my skull it seems like.

I don't consider it a lie because I am disillusioned that my work is astounding, but I consider it a lie because my Creator created me to create.

He creates with a purpose, and and when He made me, He gave me the gift of artistic ability, no matter how evident or not it may seem to the world around me.

The God I serve does not set up His creation for failure.

There's a reason He chose me to be right-brain heavy and left-brain deficient and there's a reason others are the complete opposite of me. 

We all serve a purpose in the bigger picture, and when we set out to do what we were made for, it is then we will experience life to it's fullest.

My confidence comes not from my feeble ability, but from Jesus. Truly.

He generously gave me inspiration and motivation this past week to take the floating ideas in my mind and give them life.

So, I did.

"Line of Sight"

Micron 05

"Flower Child" 

4B Pencil Sketch

"Ornamentation of Courage"

Micron 08

"Aren't we all just goldfish in a balloon?"

A quick and mindless doodle

Micron 05

Developmental sketch of "Loki", Stevie and Kyndrick's puppy

"Loki I"

"Loki II"

"Loki"

Micron 05, 08

"Entangle"

Micron 01

Hoping to turn these sketches into prints, tees and more!

Hoping to actually do and not just dream of that possibility!

Besides being locked up in my sanctuary doodling the day away, I manage to still have remnants of what I consider a life...

Unite Indy

This is an open invitation I created...I hope it didn't scare people off?

Unite Indy is a gathering of young adults who come together to worship their Creator and get to know others in surrounding cities.

Acoustic Worship and live painting

In the time of musical worship, we are free to worship as we see fit.

On our knees, singing, creating art, silently being in commune with God, forms of worship is endless as the differences between a people are many.

I am incredibly thankful that America is a nation that legally allows us to worship freely without lawful persecution.

I found myself singing less than half the time, but rather, telling Him how great He is, followed by how weak I am and how insane it is that He, in His greatness, would come down to my level and show me the truest and purest form of love.

With tears streaming down my face, I felt His embrace.

In my weakness, His strength is more evident.

With a heavy heart, I came to His feet and with His help, I freely laid my burdens down.

My absolute favorite collective: NEEDTOBREATHE 

 addresses the laying down of burdens in this 

"Lay Em' Down" video below:

Saturday after a full day of work, I headed out into the country to hang with a group of genuine life-loving country folk...ages 40-70. 

Needless to say, I was basically the infant of the group.

It was there I experienced my first Apple-Butter Making Party!

Below is an enormous witch-like pot filled with 35 gallons of apple butter!

Enough to fill over 100 variety mason jars!

If you don't stir, you don't deserve a jar.

Tough love.

This Apple-Butter Making Party is also where I consumed my first and probably last 
Rocky Mountain Oyster.
It tasted like tenderloin which was bearable but mentally I could barely handle the situation let alone, the disgustingly vivid commentary taking place during consumption.

I am not a cat person.

Until now.

See the one looking straight into your very soul?!

See that cute little Hitler mustache?

See as to how I just legitimately used "cute" and Hitler mustache" in the same sentence...

"Jingo" is what I call him.

And forever will I dream of having him in my life because I can only have one "him" in my life according to 

Alexxander the Cat Loather.

Therefore, it might be categorized as silly if I chose Jingo over Alexx...emphasis on "might".

My favorite shot of the night.

This picture captures the essence of bonding and good times in my eyes.

We all took part in making the apple butter (an eight hour process), we all lent a helping hand in jarring it, and we all got to know one another despite our differences in age. 

We are all given family through blood when brought into existence.

But the family of heart and spirit, related by blood or not,

is the truest family you will be a part of here on earth.

For any interest or inquiries about any of my work, please comment below or directly email me!

Disquietude

Sidewalk Prophets unplugged with a relevant message for this week's post:

Recorded at the Expo Center in Louisville

Lamentations 3.21-24


Daring to hope.
Remembering a heart that is forever faithful to you.
Living in the fullness of grace all your days.
Experiencing the renewal or mind, strength and spirit.

What I receive in return for following Jesus.

Awaiting arrival.
Awaiting a time in which we have arrived.


An ideal many of us dream up, not realizing that we are merely chasing mirages.
As corrupt human beings, we will not truly "arrive" here on earth.
This is because we aren't perfect, as I stated before, we are simply human beings.
I can continue on with the mindset of dissatisfaction and drive myself mad with 'what if's' but to make this waiting time worthwhile, to make the most of it and take it for what it is, I will place my trust in God.
Simply because, He truly is who He says He is.
In times of uncertainty when anxiety takes me captive like a prisoner, it truly is hard to fathom that God is ever-present. That He can hear me. That He still cares.
It's in those times that we make known who is on the throne in our lives.
For those who believe in Christ, we could simply say, "Well, God is always on the throne in my life! That's just how it always is, always will be, no question.". 
Or,
We could admit that He may not always be on the throne in our lives, in our hearts.
So often I will put FEAR or WORRY on the throne instead of The King who owns that rightful place in my heart.
Fear. Worry.
Yeah, in retrospect, those do not appeal to me as worthy of my undivided attention.

Putting God on the throne in our hearts means that I need to talk to Him.
I need to humble myself enough to offer my burdens and worries to Him and genuinely let Him know that I cannot do it myself even though He knows that quite well.
He does not get tired of carrying our burdens.

His love for us goes deeper than our minds can wonder and hearts can fathom.

My heart and flesh may fail, but my God never will.
Psalm 73.26

Psalm 94.19

Happiness : Emotion
An outward expression of elation

Joy : State of Being
Inward peace and contentment

Letting go of the mindset that I can do things on my own.

Letting God know that I am aware and thankful that He sustains my daily breath.

Letting God have the fears I cling to, the worries I live in fear of, and my sense of control that gets me nowhere.

Galatians 1.10

I be lookin' like a fool sometimes yes, I'm aware.
But, what the Creator says goes.
It might not make sense, like this fella right here, but when we submit to His power which outweighs our whole existence, we step into a much larger picture than man's perception.

Daniel 3.8-30

Living recklessly, in selfish pursuit leads to destruction.

Destruction of the self, mind, heart and being.

Living recklessly in doing what you are called to do, what you were created to do, will indeed stump men, but will indeed triumph in the end.

Print Long into the Night

Lithography

"Litho", for short, is ridiculous.

My reasoning behind this bold opinion:

>> We spend hours preparing the limestone to create a drawing surface

>> We then, measure out a very specific etch (Consisting of nitric acid and gum arabic) and work it into the stone in a very specific pattern to insure the image stays in the stone

>> Without missing a step, we are ready to print the image after hours of preparation

Now, it doesn't sound all that bad in my brief bullet list, but once you try it, you'll see.

Ooooh, will you see. Especially! if you embark on the treacherous journey of reductive work and color layers. Where you would print layers upon layers of colors, planning out the color choice to avoid an awkward palette for the end piece, working reductively into the image, and making sure the stone is perfectly registered for each layer to avoid blurred lines (in no reference to song...please and thank you). 

Apologies for the extensive rant, after these past couple weeks working on this one project, I've become a tad...unhinged

This print was indeed purposefully posted:

The printing lab is a communal lab and is open twenty-four/seven

>> Late nights-early mornings are a regular thing for print-makers <<

Project: Self Portrait

Totem

Eagle: Healing, intuitive and creative spirit, illumination of spirit

Dolphin: gentleness, resurrection, friendship, purity of the heart, playfulness

Coyote: playfulness, adaptability, inventiveness, transformation, resourcefulness

Deer: In touch with inner child, sensitive, gentleness, ability to move through life's obstacles gracefully

Myself: All the above + probably a couple more things.

The being of most importance is usually placed at the top of the totem.

At the bottom of the totem is usually where you would see a human because we are of least importance.

The totem is generally associated with shamanistic religions but that's not my reasoning behind using it as a depiction of myself for this self-portrait project.

I enjoy the concept of having the human represented with the least of importance because unique traits and characteristics are given to us to be shared with the world around us. 

When we humble ourselves, we are able to offer the people around us more than when we focus on our own needs and wants. 

I've found that living for a purpose bigger than myself is an undeniably remarkable way to use this life I've been given. 

The giving of myself (ie. time, energy, investment, etc) to those in need is far more rewarding than using this life attempting to fulfill my own desires at any cost.

Beginning of final sketch to realize that the dolphin, 

while fitting to my personality,

 does not fit so much in this composition...

Final Sketch

Second Layer

>> Blade reduction into asphaltum flat from first layer

What happens when too strong of an etch is used

The nitric acid to gum arabic ratio was too strong for my image

Causing me to re-grain my stone

Third Layer

>> Freshly grained stone

>> Entirely new asphaltum flat

>> Gum arabic used as stop-out

Color roll layout for third layer

Lithograph

"Self-Portrait"

Critique